It Never Woulda Worked Out Anyway
by ChildDevil04
Summary: Loose Hermione/Charlie songfic based on Brad Paisley's song of the same title. Charlie's been wrecking Hermione's relationships to what end? Minor cursing. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I own neither the recognizable Harry Potter characters, I just borrowed them from Jo for a bit, nor the lyrics/idea of the song "It Never Woulda Worked Out Anyway" which belongs to Brad Paisley et al.

It Never Woulda Worked Out Anyway

"You have to tell him you were joking."

"Well hello Hermione, nice to see you too. How are you today?" Charlie flashed a grin at the brunette witch standing in front of his desk tapping her toe rapidly on the floor.

"CHARLIE!"

"HERMIONE" he mimicked her yell, much more quietly.

"Stop screwing around. You have to tell Bob you were just kidding."

"Bob?"

"Don't play innocent with me. You told my boyfriend I was hiding my children from him, though how I'm supposed to hide seven of them is beyond me."

"Well Elizabeth, Colin, Darcy, Alex, Rose, Justin, and Eric are all very good at hiding."

"Charlie! Be serious please. You told my boyfriend I work at that strip joint on the ridge!"

"He's a dentist Hermione! A muggle! You can do so much better. You need a wizard, not someone who doesn't understand what's such a basic part of you, _draga_.

"Stop the Romanian!"

"Honey, it never would have worked anyway, you should be thanking me."

HGCW HGCW HGCW

"Jail? You told a law wizard that I spent a year in jail?"

"_Scumpa_, he was spending more time with you than on the case, and than you weren't spending any time with me. How else was I supposed to get a law wizard to go away? They're like sharks, always circling. "

"Did you elaborate on the story you told the broom salesman? That I spend my time in cheap motels and let him guess that's what I got picked up for? Cause the way you chase off the men in my life is going to get me put in jail. Only it won't be for prostitution, it'll be for murder!

"_Scumpa mea_ . . ."

"And stop it with the bloody Romanian! Use English!"

HGCW HGCW HGCW

"Married?" Barging into his office yet again yelling about how he had messed with a relationship Hermione had the vague thought that this was happening more frequently. And always at work. Shaking it off she focused all of her attention on the red-headed man in front of her. "Why did you tell the medi-wizard that I was hiding my wedding band?"

"_Iubire_, he was hitting on you in front of me. So I took care of it later."

"You took care of it? Charlie Weasley! You are not my boyfriend, my father, my brother or even my best friend. We are friends, we do hang out, but you have to stop doing this. I'm going to get a reputation and its not going to be a good one! And what did I tell you about the Romanian? If you have something to say use English!"

HGCW HGCW HGCW

"CHARLIE WEASLEY!" Three floors above the source of the irate screaming Charlie cringed. She must have found out somehow about what he'd told that 'cowboy.' Bracing himself for hurricane Hermione he simply waited since he could hear her heels clicking rapid fire up the stairs. The speed with which they approached, and the noise they made as they hit the wooden boards testified further to what her voice had already said, Hermione was one pissed off witch.

"What the fuck did you tell him Charlie?" She asked, throwing open his bedroom door with a total lack of concern. She was far to enraged to care that he might have been naked, after all he had had plenty of warning that she was coming, what with the enraged bellow that had followed her entrance into the Burrow. "You told him I had a Potions Accident? That I used to be a man and was hoping to return to my previous masculine body? You asked him if he was gay? Are you trying to ruin my life?"

"_Iubito_ . . ."

"Don't you talk Romanian to me Charlie Weasley! In plain, old-fashioned English tell me why you are trying to ruin my life?"

"_Draga_, if you'd ever done what you always do you'd already know why I talk Romanian to you. You'd know why I do what it is I do. I'm crazy about you girl, and I have to have you in my world. I get a little jealous, and I go further then I ought to, but I can't stand the thought of you with anybody else. _Iubita mea_, my beloved, I cannot watch you with others anymore. You ought to thank me, it never woulda worked out anyway because you're my beginning and my end."

Translations: (some research on the net found this, if its wrong please tell me so I can fix it)

Iubita mea: my beloved

Iubito: beloved

Iubire: love

Draga: honey (this is supposed to have a character over the final a that I couldn't begin to tell you how to put in)

Scumpa: darling

Scumpa mea: my darling

A.N: I know its short. Really, its just to distract me from the fact that I can't start working on my NaNo story yet.


End file.
